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  MAD COW

  MAD COW

  A Novel

  ALEXIS KIENLEN

  Copyright © 2020 by Alexis Kienlen

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior ­written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations ­embodied in reviews.

  Publisher’s note: This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s ­imagination or are used ­fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

  Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

  Kienlen, Alexis, 1976–

  Mad cow. / Alexis Kienlen.

  ISBN 978–1–988098–98–2 (softcover)

  I. Title.

  Printed and bound in Canada on 100% recycled paper.

  eBook: tikaebooks.com

  Now Or Never Publishing

  901, 163 Street

  Surrey, British Columbia

  Canada V4A 9T8

  nonpublishing.com

  Fighting Words.

  We gratefully acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the British Columbia Arts Council for our publishing program.

  For the ranchers

  CHAPTER 1

  Allyson sat by the flagpole, waiting for her father. Her friend Amber sat beside her. They watched as Amber’s brother’s truck drove up, blasting loud, angry rock music that filled the entire street in front of the school. The bright yellow truck had a decal with the words “Rig Piggy” scrawled in huge letters across the back window. A shiny, clean quad sat in the truck bed. Amber sighed and picked up her flute case.

  “I wish he wouldn’t be so obnoxious,” she said. “I’ll call you later.”

  Amber’s brother leaned out the window, holding a smoke in one hand. He was friends with Allyson’s brother Colton, and Allyson knew they partied together frequently. Amber’s brother was named Murray, but everyone called him Booger. It was a nickname he’d picked up in high school. Even if people did call him by his given name, he told them to call him Booger. One time, Allyson asked Amber about the origins of the nickname. Amber raised her eyebrows. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

  Booger was back from the rigs. He still came home to crash once in a while and hang out with his buddies. Allyson had been inside his truck with Amber, but she usually ignored him when she saw him driving around town. He was known for driving up and down Main Street, and then sitting in the 7-Eleven parking lot where he drank Slurpees and smoked, watched traffic and waited for other people to come talk to him. Allyson knew he smoked weed with Colton. She suspected Booger might be into E too, or even something stronger. Rig piggies like Booger had more money than God and they wanted to share their wealth with their friends.

  Booger waved at Allyson once Amber was in the truck.

  “Still hanging out with that chink?” he yelled.

  Allyson didn’t bother to answer. She gave him the finger as the truck sped away. Allyson hoped her dad would be on time today. Last time he picked her up, she’d had to wait for over half an hour. She stared out into the street, resting one arm over her trumpet case. She missed the days of the previous year, when she and Chloe had been in band together. But Chloe said she didn’t need the extra credits she would get from being in after-school band, so she’d decided not to take it. Chloe used that time to go into town and hang out at the coffee shops with her friend Jamie. Thank god Amber was still in band. Allyson always felt she should have more friends than she did, because she’d lived near the town her whole life. But she had spent a lot of time hanging out with her cousin until recently. And she just didn’t want to hang out with other people. Why were people supposed to have so many friends? She would rather stay in her room, draw, listen to music and read. So what if she ended up spending a lot of time alone?

  Her dad’s tired red pickup trundled down the street through the dust. It was so dry this year, a carryover from the drought last year. He pulled the truck up to the curb in front of the flagpole and honked. Allyson stood up, picked up her trumpet case and walked toward him.

  “Thanks for coming to get me,” she said as she did up her seatbelt. “Dad, you should buckle up,” she said, looking over at him. “Seriously.”

  Her father nodded but didn’t say anything. He fumbled around him, found the seatbelt and pulled it across his body.

  Her father looked more tired than usual. Even his face looked slack, as if his cheeks wanted to slide off his face and onto the ground. He was in his mid-forties, and that was impossibly old to her. Would she ever be that old? Would she look like him, with cheeks that were permanently wind stained? Not if she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want the same kind of life he had.

  Her father’s belly had grown rounder in recent years and her mom gave him a hard time about it.

  “You need to watch what you eat,” her mother would say to him. “No more snacks out in the truck. No more chips in front of the TV.”

  “I work hard,” her dad said when he sat down at night, falling into his La-Z-Boy to watch the news or the Oilers. “Sometimes I just want a beer and chips. Is that too much to ask?”

  “It’s going to your belly,” her mother said. “And that’s not healthy.”

  Shania Twain was on the radio, singing about feeling like a woman. Allyson thought about turning it off, but didn’t. They only got two stations in town. Allyson looked out the window at her school. Only three more years. Then she could finally get out of here.

  Her dad tapped his hands on the steering wheel. Allyson’s mom said it was a good thing her dad had a job that allowed him to be physical, because he wouldn’t have been able to sit at a desk all day. He needed to move.

  “Your dad never would have survived in the city,” she said. “He needs to be out on the farm.”

  Allyson looked out the window at the town. It was the same old. Her mother said the entire town needed a new coat of paint. Her dad turned the pickup away from the school and drove towards the main drag. But instead of turning towards the road that would take them to the highway, he continued up the street.

  “Aren’t we going home?” Allyson asked.

  “Nope,” her dad said. “We’re going to Joe’s. I need to talk to the guys. Something big happened today.”

  Allyson looked at him, not wanting to ask.

  “Everything’s fine,” her dad said. “Everything’s okay. I just need to catch up on the local gossip.”

  Allyson would have preferred to go home, eat her supper and watch TV, but she didn’t mind hanging out at Joe’s. She might be able to talk to Jeff, who was in a few classes with her at school. His dad, Joe Chin, ran the restaurant.

  Her dad drove up the street and circled the block, looking for a parking spot.

  “Dad,” Allyson said, letting her voice go into a slight whine. “Why can’t you just park and walk a few blocks?”

  Her dad kept on driving around the block, until a truck pulled out from a spot just in front of the Dewdrop Inn.

  “See,” her dad said, smiling. “We can park like the rock stars we are if we just wait.”

  Allyson opened the door and jumped out. “I’m going to leave my trumpet in the car, so maybe you should lock it.”

  “Why don’t you just bring it in?” her dad said.

  “Just lock the door,” she said. “It’s not going to kill you.”

  She locked her own door, and then listened to make sure her dad locked his side.

  Allyson walked into Joe’s first, her dad following behind.

  Inside, Joe’s smelled like cigarette smoke and the oily scent of grease from French fries and the buffet table. Two tables full of people waved or nodded at Gord and Allyson as they walked by. Allyson wondered what it would be like to live in a city, where you didn’t know half of the people around you. Her dad always liked to say you couldn’t fart in town without half of the town hearing about it.

  Gord caught up with Allyson and then walked ahead of her, waving at two guys who were already seated. Doug Miller was wearing a Co-op cap and drinking a coffee, while old Ray Sharp sat beside him.

  “Are Craig and Al coming?” Doug asked as Allyson and Gord approached the table.

  Gord shook his head. “Nah. I think Dad went to Hills’ and Craig is driving some cattle to the border. He had a long haul ahead of him. He’s not back yet.”

  “Nice to see you,” Ray Sharp said as Allyson sat down next to him. Her father sat on the other side of her. Ray squeezed her arm and gave her a big smile. Ray’s wife has passed a while ago, but he was still in cattle. All of the neighbours helped him out when he needed it. The farm wives doted on him, bringing him pies and fresh baking. His sons, their wives and his grandkids came back all the time for visits. Allyson liked Ray, his aura of genuine kindness, and his big smile, filled with teeth that gleamed so white that they were probably fake.

  Allyson looked around for Jeff, but didn’t see him. Before she could blink, Joe came to their table with an armful of menus.

  “Nice to see you all,” he said. “Don’t you ever work?

  Doug crossed his arms over his large belly and laughed. Allyson found it hard not to stare at his gut. She wondered how Doug could move about, balancing his huge belly on his skinny legs. She hoped her father wouldn’t end up like that.


  “We don’t want you to go broke,” Doug said. “Need to be able to feed your kids.”

  Joe laughed and gestured around the table. “Coffees for everyone?”

  Allyson shook her head. “I’ll have a Coke.”

  Gord put his menu down on the table. “I don’t know why you brought us these menus, Joe. We all know these menus like we know our wives’ cooking. Unless you got something new?”

  Joe shook his head. “No, still same.”

  He had a Chinese accent. The Chins had immigrated from China, but they had been in the community for many years and were well-known. Their two children were both born in town.

  “I don’t even have to look at this,” Doug said, placing the menu back on the table. “I’ll have fries and a double burger.”

  Allyson ordered a small cup of wonton soup and tuned out while Ray and her father ordered. The TV in the back corner was showing an episode of Jeopardy! The Chins always had close captioning on, so you could focus on the TV if you didn’t feel like talking to the other people at your table.

  “Shame about the border,” Ray Sharp said. “I’m just glad that I downsized last year after the drought. I’m not feeding many cows.”

  “I heard it earlier today. And it’s just going to be trouble. I’ve got a lot of cows ready to go,” Doug said.

  “We’re just going to get slammed again,” Gord said. “I’m trying not to get worked up about it, but this could be a major hit in the pocket book.”

  “What can we really do about it?” Doug asked. “Those government guys need to figure it out. All I know is I’m going to be watching the news. Hopefully they’ll get it resolved before I need to ship my cows. If not, I’m going to have to get down on my knees and pray.”

  “If they don’t take any of our beef, this could affect the whole country,” Ray said. “The whole thing makes me mad. The beef is safe. It’s just the one cow so far. But this could kill the industry.”

  Allyson was used to farming conversations, about how there wasn’t enough rain, or it was too cold or too hot or prices were down. The cows were too skinny or the bull was shooting blanks, or the equipment was broken and parts hadn’t come into town yet. Nothing was more boring than news, unless it was news about farming. But today had a different feel to it. The men were resigned and subdued. Her dad kept on fidgeting with the salt shaker, and Ray, who smiled constantly, looked serious and hadn’t even offered her gum, or asked her about school, or if she had a boyfriend. Doug propped his head up with his hand, as if it was too heavy for him to hold up. As Allyson watched, he patted the breast pocket in his plaid shirt, putting his hand on a square package.

  “I’m going out for a smoke,” he said, standing up.

  “Thought you gave that up,” Gord said.

  “Most of the time, yeah,” Doug said. “But today is a smoking day. I’m going outside for some fresh air.” Allyson watched as he stood up and walked out of the restaurant. Nobody said anything when he left. Normally, the men would have been laughing and joking, telling stories about what some of the other farmers they knew had been up to. But today, they sat in a reserved silence.

  “I wonder if we can get Joe to change the channel,” Gord said. “It’s got to be on the news.”

  Jeff showed up with the coffees and Coke and Allyson caught his eye.

  “I’ll be in the back booth in a few minutes,” he said as he put her drink in front of her. “If you want to wait for me, I can hang with you for a little bit.”

  Allyson took her Coke and stood up. “Dad, I’m going to go sit in the back.”

  Gord nodded, but he was staring at some far-off spot over her head.

  “May 20, 2003,” Ray Sharp said, taking a sip of coffee and shaking his head. “We’re not going to forget it.”

  “I’m just hoping this doesn’t end up like the UK,” her dad said.

  Allyson walked away while her dad continued to talk. When she looked back at him, he was slouched over the table, waving his hands about the way he always did when he was emotional about something. The way he hunched over made him look old. She didn’t want to keep on thinking about that.

  She sat down at the table in the back nearest the kitchen and kept on watching Jeopardy! Jeff’s homework was piled on the table. All the regulars knew this table belonged to the Chin kids and no one ever took it. She recognized his copy of The Stone Angel that they’d been studying in English class, along with his math textbook and a couple of his notebooks. Jeff had told her it was too quiet at home and he found it hard to study there.

  One of Jeff’s large sketchpads lay on the table. Allyson looked at the whirling loops of his doodles on the front cover. Jeff liked to draw anime characters and he was good at it. He was the one who had introduced her to anime. One time, she’d gone over to his house to watch Akira. No one else had been home and the Chin house was small and quiet. It was too neat, as if they were expecting company. The house was only a few blocks from the restaurant.

  Allyson looked at the pictures of Chinese people on the walls. The pictures were black and white, and the people in them stilted and formal. Allyson liked hanging out with Jeff, but she’d been uncomfortable while they were alone in his house. Immediately after they’d finished watching the movie, she called her mom to come get her.

  After a few minutes, Jeff’s mom, Winnie, came and put a bowl of soup in front of her.

  “Thanks,” Allyson said. The warm, salty taste of the broth was comforting and she realized how hungry she was. She picked up a wonton with her china spoon and examined it. Colton always said wontons looked like calf testicles. After he said that, the image haunted her but that didn’t mean she was going to stop eating wontons. She was a farm kid, after all.

  Allyson studied the restaurant, taking in the plastic table top in front of her and the green of the carpet. She liked the wallpaper in the restaurant, its iridescent peacocks edged with flecks of gold. Her mother said it was garish, but Allyson thought places in China must have wallpaper like this.

  Jeff walked by and waved. “Just have to serve a few more tables,” he said. “I’ll try and take a break soon.”

  Allyson nodded and kept on eating her soup.

  The bell over the front door chimed, and her cousin Chloe entered the restaurant, followed by Jamie. Allyson wondered if she should wave at them. She stared down at her soup. Chloe was laughing about something. Her dad saw Chloe and raised his hand in acknowledgement.

  “Hi, Uncle Gord,” Chloe said. Jamie nodded at him and walked over to the corner, choosing a table with two chairs near the window. Allyson waved at Chloe, trying to catch her cousin’s eye. Chloe ignored her and went to join Jamie.

  For a second, Allyson wondered if her cousin hadn’t seen her. Why wouldn’t Chloe say hi? She watched as Winnie went to their table to give them menus. She looked back down at her soup, which she had nearly finished, before turning her eyes up to the television again. Should she go over and talk to them?

  She looked over to see if they had noticed her. They were talking and laughing, oblivious to everyone else in the restaurant. They were too far away for her to hear what they were saying. She looked around for Jeff.

  “I’ll be there soon,” Jeff said, as he passed through the door, holding a tray with four Cokes and a plate of fries on it. “We’re a bit short-staffed today. One of the waitresses called in sick.” He stopped for a minute at her table before walking towards Chloe and Jamie, delivering Cokes and fries to the table of seniors beside them.

  Allyson wished she’d brought her school bag in from the car. She picked up Jeff’s copy of The Stone Angel even though she had already read it twice and was sick of it. Anything would be better than sitting here, pretending she wasn’t alone while her cousin and her friend sat at one table and her dad sat at another. She hoped Jeff would join her soon. He put Cokes down at Chloe’s table. What would happen if she pulled up a chair and joined them?

  She got up and walked toward their table, abandoning her empty bowl.

  “Hey,” she said, as she pulled up a chair and sat down beside her cousin and her friend. “What are you guys up to?”